apologies. news. changes.

[xiane]

If I seem flighty or moody, I apologise ahead of time and will try to extend the same as soon as I catch myself doing it. There's a lot on my mind, and will continue to be a lot on my mind for a while. The flighty thing, that's going to happen. That's no excuse for treating my friends poorly, though, so let me know if I don't catch myself.

The news is slowly trickling out, so i might as well quell all rumours now.

Yes, I am leaving Charlottesville.
Yes, I am moving back to Baltimore.
No, The Dawning/SubShock will not stop.
No, the scene will not die, unless you want it to.
Yes, I will miss everyone horribly.
No, I won't change my mind. I can't.

The gist of it: you guys all know by now that my Dad died last week. For those who didn't catch the details, he felt sick at work, so he left... and on the way home, he plowed into a tree at 45 MPH. It was rather quick and obviously very sudden for my family... and my Mom needs me. Dad was her best friend. The house is big and empty right now, and there *are* some advantages of doing this for me, as well. I'll be able to finally get back on my feet, financially. I will be getting a car. I'll be able to take some classes.

There's so much I'm leaving behind that I don't want to... but I'm trying to look at the opportunities [and generally succeeding, athough I have my maudlin moments] and stay positive. It was not an easy decision to come to, but I feel it's the right one.

I'll be leaving after Election Day. There will be things for sale or for free. if I own you stuff in the mail, or money, or some time, you'll get that before I go.
If you own ME money, or time, or something good... now's the time to get with me. Especially if you owe me money, and you know who you are. [stern Xiane voice] Certain people have taken advantage of my good and loving nature, and I'm going to tell you now.. the kid gloves are coming off. I have little to lose, and I'm tired of being taken advantage of in certain situations. I'm living fucking hand-to-mouth over here right now, and that doesn't include new toys and Jager and trips to places that I'm taking instead of paying my bills. I'm *still* being nice, but next time I mention this I won't be so kind.

That being said, expect me to be calling bullshit a LOT more as the days go on. I'm still the same kind and loving girl... but oh, you're not going to get the watery version that some people have noted me displaying.

I have to go to work. Questions? Love? ..hate? leave a comment, I s'pose. Whee.

Comments

[onceupon.livejournal.com]

*HUUUUUUUUUG*

Let me know if I can help.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thank you, sweetie! I'm gonna need goading for NaNo, because I'll be damned if I'm gonna let something like an inter-state move and total upheaval of my life stop me from writing a shitty novel in a month! ;)

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I kept wanting to call... and then things kept happening. Was poop, but honestly, I was a mess anyway. But I *thought* about it a lot, however much that counts. ;)

Hi. I'm your new Deathrock/Goth Rock DJ. Use me. Abuse me. BOOK me! :D

Well. In like 2 months.

Wow. I'm suddenly feeling a LOT less depressed about all of this.

[baobh.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, and the upcoming upheaval. Good luck with cracking down on bullshit, I know it's hard.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Bullshit cracking commences... now! *thwack*

[kamera-shy.livejournal.com]

I didn't know about your dad. I'm sorry.

Good luck with your move and I hope to come up your way soon, so much fun.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. You've got a lot going on with you, no wonder you didn't catch my post about it. It's all crazy!
I think things will slowly start to get better from here on out.

[dj-vortex.livejournal.com]

hopefully i will be able to come up there before you have to leave. well at least you are going from one great scene to a scene that i have seen over the years just explode onto the goth map per say.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

If you want a date soon, speak up now! I've been holding back on booking out-of-town DJs until I'm sure that the dates won't suddenly get yanked out from under us for Frat arties, but damn! I wanna see you before I leave!

[fatespawn.livejournal.com]

Love! We're going to miss you down here, but good luck up in Baltimore. Come visit when you can.

[lady-waist.livejournal.com]

of course she will. Of course.

[lostmoth.livejournal.com]

Much luck and happy thoughts for you... you are a wonderful person and I hope that this move takes you to bigger and better things! :)

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thank you SO much. And keep me updated on Baby Adventure! I am so excited for you, a little girl! Yay!

[vurtsnake.livejournal.com]

It's never easy to make/follow through with tough decisions like this. You're in my thoughts, and we're wishing you all the best. Hang in there... :)

*hug*

TechWolf

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thank you, TW! *hug* I really appreciate the good thoughts. They help SO much.

[crossbonesdj.livejournal.com]

If you need ANYTHING, you know you have it. I'm happy in some ways, because my sister will be closer to me. I know this is tough - we're here for you.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Being closer to some of my friends and adopted family that I've been away from for so long... it's definitely a plus. trust me, that's one of the things that's keeping me going with this :)

[eilonwy.livejournal.com]

I feel like saying that I'll miss you could be construed as a lie since even though right now I'm only 40minutes from you I so seldom get to see you. Regardless, it *is* the truth, and I *will* miss you-- and I know this because even from just this side of the mountain I miss you.

That said, I'm not the least bit surprised, and if you think this is what's right for you then I'm behind you 110%. And Baltimore's not so far away, really, in the grand scheme of things.

It'd be awesome if you could come visit for kitteny love (or I'll bring 'em to you) before you go.

::Hugs:: & love and the bestest of wishes. and more ::fierce hugs::

[xiane.livejournal.com]

*hugs tightly* There's a comfort level with knowing that someone's only 40 minutes away, though... so I totally understand. But as I keep pointing out - this gives much "getting away" opportunities to my friends. "Escape to Scenic Baltimore!" ;)

I'll be missing you terribly, too. But you know what? the magic of LJ saves us!

[redzshadow.livejournal.com]

I'm going to miss you so much. I want you to do what is right for you. I know you will. And it really isn't that far away. The sucky thing...I am working into November now. Most likely just the first week...but that is when you leave :(

[krasota.livejournal.com]

obviously, you and I will need to do some roadtripping from time to time.

[eure-maum.livejournal.com]

*sniffles* =huggles= we'll miss you!

oh, and you so better get on AIM more often once you move so i can talk to you more girlie!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

trust me, when I first get there, that's ALL there will be to do. I'm going to be desperate for people to talk to. You're probably going to have to tell me to shut up and leave you alone ;)

[lady-waist.livejournal.com]

i knew you'd do this. i would have.

Everything -will- get better.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

It will. I know it will. Thank goodness for you and all my other wonderful friends. You make it so much easier. I'm not looking forward to leaving, but at least I know that people *understand* what's going on and support it. That helps immensely.

[jdavyd.livejournal.com]

*HATE*

i mean... wait. what?

*HATE*

no, thats not it.

umm... *HATE*

goddammit. i cant figure out what it is i'm supposed to be saying.

[rat-bastard.livejournal.com]

There is no hate.

There is only Zuul.

and ROCK N'ROLL! YOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!

[baldchik.livejournal.com]

i think its wonderful that you are being so supportive of your mother right now... I will miss you, as will everyone! its not that far away though...youll have to come back for shows sometimes.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

As soon as I have car, I will definitely be back. Thanks for the thoughts. All this support is REALLY helping.

Wow.

[dj-vlad.livejournal.com]

Upheaval abound! I hope your move goes well, and we'll only be a skip and a city away if you're feeling "DC".

Re: Wow.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

yea, it's betterthan a soap opera around here these days. :D

I will SO be coming to DC as soon as I can. Hell yeah.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Greg, you are so so sweet. Thank you. I appreciate the thoughts more than I can convey.

[orientallilly.livejournal.com]

*LOVE*

going to miss you, but you gotta do what you must. i think your right, in many ways this will be good for you. just don't forget about us.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

There is NO way I'll forget about everyone. No way in hell.

[glitterdream.livejournal.com]

=(
I'm gonna miss ya, you're my favorite dj. *hugs*
I have the $5 that I pledged for SubShock, and I will be bring that to The Dawning this Saturday. Will you be there?
good luck with everything...

[xiane.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you so much, and thank you for the compliment, too. I'm going to miss seeing you, and I'm going to miss DJing here HORRIBLY. Especially SubShock, which I adore like it was my idea in the first place ;)

I'm going to see about maybe online streaming DJing or SOMETHING. I just can't *stop*, you know?

I'll be DJing downstairs on Saturday. I'll see you there.

[t-revelator.livejournal.com]

I wish you the best in your new situation. I am (selfishly) excited that you will be closer, but I can only imagine how hard it must be to leave a decade+ (has it really been that long?!?) of friends, memory, and LIFE in VA.

Please let me know if I can help in any way.

love,

T

[xiane.livejournal.com]

14 years. I moved here in August of 1990. O_o Crazy, eh?

Being closer to you and omiewise is *definitely* a plus. And those babies! Eee! I don't know what I would ask for, other than the love you guys already so kindly offer to me... but if I think of something, somehow, I'll make sure to ask. Thank you, my friend.

[mrjustice.livejournal.com]

Chris,

I have some money for you, and I'm going to need your address so I can send you MORE money. This kinda thing should be happening more offten now that things seem to be settling into a semi-comfortable place.

Mucho Love

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Stop by Coyote any time after 3. I'm almost always there and will *definitely* be there tomorrow. I'll make arrangements for the rest when I see you. Thanks for getting the ball rolling on this, it really has dragged on too long.. but now's a really good time to be having some money coming in, because I'm fucked.

[bloodlossgirl.livejournal.com]

only *love* and the best wishes to you!

upheaval. it's everywhere. yay for doing what's best for us, and huzzah for new adventures and places! :)

[xiane.livejournal.com]

thank you sooooooo much.

I know! Upheaval's all over my friends list! Everyone's got BIG changes coming down the pike, and it seems that we're all surviving... but... ouch. O_o

Well, here we go, making change work for US!

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

*squishes* I wondered if this was what was going down. :/
It's follow your bliss (er, or follow of the path of least crapsistance) time for all of us, it seems. I'll just have to drive a bit farther to bring you cookies...

Now, gimme all your stuff! *cackles* Let me know when you need help cleaning/packing, cause I'm your girl for gruntwork. I finally got all my fuckie--er, duckies in a row, so I can help you pluck yours... I'm a fowl weather friend... *ducks*

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I'm at a loss for words. :D

I'll let you know as soon as I know what the hell I'm doing! If nothing else, we hafta hang out, and I'll definitely have shit to plunder.

[trifle.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I think you and your mom will really be able to help each other--this is SUCH a tough decision, but it sounds like you are making the right one for sure. Good luck!!!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much.

I'm gonna miss our random runnings-into! you have to keep me updaed via LJ, woman. Or... I dunno. I'll be uninformed!

Always.

[grendelskeeper.livejournal.com]

You certainly have my sincere condolences for your loss, and best wishes of good luck on the life changing move. And I am personally sad about that, but I understand you have much to do and not all of it easy ~ but how do you tell someone you do not really know that well (but admire greatly), what a profoundly positive influence they have had on your life's outlook???????? Here it goes......................

We go back aways on the radio (heck, I remember when you were sitting in for Modern Rock on Thurs. nights), and one of my loveliest discoveries after moving to Charlottesville was SubShock!! I was instantly taken by the music, the personality of the host, the whole format........................I missed out on the whole early goth rock scene growing up, but through your music ministrations I caught up & my taste in music was irreparably altered for the better!! I cannot ever thank you enough for introducing me to that world............................

I mean to say, that for all your dark, death-rock trappings, you spread needed enlightenment. Despite all the shitty things that have happened to you, you always manage ot enhance life & lives..............................a force of creative, positive energy.

I will always remember the phone fun, the esp moments, the delicious music..........Life keeps getting busier, and it has been more difficult to keep up with the things one loves, but I am always tuned into your show unless physically prevented from doing so..................You will be missed beyond mortal measure,
.
Love & all the best.

Re: Always.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Your support for all that I've been involved in has been a rare gift, indeed... and lucky I am to have met you. Gordon, you are so super. You are the music's best friend. I've been blessed to know you, and trust me, I'm not gonna stop anytime soon.

Dammit. I really really don't want to lose SubShock, precisely because of the wonderful perks, like meeting you. Please be kind to the inheritor of it... I think you'll be pleased at who takes over. I hope. :)