(no subject)

[xiane]

So maybe it's a vacation that I need. Tank so kindly suggested to my boss that I needed a break, and she's game... now I need to decide what I want to do, where, when, with who, etc etc etc. Tank's idea is that I need something to fire up my creativity again, wake me up so to speak... I was trying to explain to him why I think it is that I can't seem to write any lyrics lately - hell, I haven't been inspired to do ANYthing. I'm dead inside, or at least heavily sleeping. Nothing seems to spark in me these days, nothing interests me beyond a short list of grand interests [see below] that only really break through the malaise marginally more than the rest of the world. Maybe my depression is raging out of control and I just don't know it. Maybe I'm just suffering a bad case of ennui. Hell if I know. I just want it to stop. It's the creative parts of my life that keep me going, and I haven't been able to love much of anything at all. My tiny, treasured list of importances that keep me going, and meagerly at best:

Astronomy
science fiction
my very few key relationships
music
singing
the energy I get around MB sometimes
my computer

bleh. I can't even think of a decent list. Sad.
What do I do? mmmmmmah.

Comments

[evilevi.livejournal.com]

I don't really have any useful suggestions, but I've been feeling like this lately, too. It's actually been quite a while since I've been able to write poetry and I just don't know how to start again. I think a lot of my problem is that this town is smothering me. Perhaps a change of venue would help?

[playright.livejournal.com]

A weekend in the woods with a stream/creek, the stars, my music, a sketchbook, a blank book and a fire...
I could feel lost from "the real world" forever...
Those are some of my most favorite retreat/rewards...

[krasota.livejournal.com]

come visit me. ;)

the moving truck arrives saturday (will be unloaded sunday)...

we have open fields, trees, and clear skies.

la la la.

[ex-rents163.livejournal.com]

Xiane! You probably don't remember me at all. I used to have a diary on diaryland ages ago, I think my user name was 'Xiang'. Anyway I used to read your diary on there back then and you wrote something in the guestbook I had there. So I check the VioletEyes top sites and see your banner and think 'that name sounds familiar' and I looked through your site and remembered it was you!

Anyway that was a long way of saying that I used to read your diaryland journal and now I'll read your livejournal. =D

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I remember! Thank you for letting me know that :)
I was wondering what had happened to your other journal, now I know. We were assimilated by LJ. At least we're both still writing! I'm a little more bitter in this journal than I was in the last one, though. I'm working to rectify that, but the world isn't helping.
Good to hear from you!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

As soon as you have phonage, give me a call so we can chat, girlie!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Thanks for all the suggestions and support. I've missed you guys! :)
I'm leaning towards someplace either with woods, or a bustling city life. Either one has been known to recharge me... I'd love to go to New Orleans, but it is getting a little too close to unbearably-hot-for-Xiane weather there. I'll keep everyone updated as things progress.

Did I mention I missed all of you?
:)

woohoo!

[krasota.livejournal.com]

have phonage!

was gonna stop by and see you at work today, but my parents decided to eat at taco bell, instead. we were gonna have pizza on the DT mall (parents have small furry companions), but neil can't walk too far without falling over. so they opted for a place where they could stay very near to the car. ;)

after that, i had frozen food, so had to come home.

i'll give you the phone line as soon as boy arrives back to ask. i think he's in the bathroom.

you must come visit soon. it's still a labyrinth of boxes, but i missssss you! i can pick you up any time.