(no subject)

[xiane]

So maybe it's a vacation that I need. Tank so kindly suggested to my boss that I needed a break, and she's game... now I need to decide what I want to do, where, when, with who, etc etc etc. Tank's idea is that I need something to fire up my creativity again, wake me up so to speak... I was trying to explain to him why I think it is that I can't seem to write any lyrics lately - hell, I haven't been inspired to do ANYthing. I'm dead inside, or at least heavily sleeping. Nothing seems to spark in me these days, nothing interests me beyond a short list of grand interests [see below] that only really break through the malaise marginally more than the rest of the world. Maybe my depression is raging out of control and I just don't know it. Maybe I'm just suffering a bad case of ennui. Hell if I know. I just want it to stop. It's the creative parts of my life that keep me going, and I haven't been able to love much of anything at all. My tiny, treasured list of importances that keep me going, and meagerly at best:

Astronomy
science fiction
my very few key relationships
music
singing
the energy I get around MB sometimes
my computer

bleh. I can't even think of a decent list. Sad.
What do I do? mmmmmmah.