xiane: ([yarn goddess])

“Reporting is not a child’s responsibility – it’s an adult’s responsibility.” – Beau Biden on MSNBC this morning.


One positive thing that’s come from the Penn State scandal: the rug that’s been pulled over the immense secret of child abuse in this country is slowly being lifted, and people are starting to take notice.

Sexually abused children who keep it a secret or who “tell” and are not believed are at greater risk than the general population for psychological, emotional, social, and physical problems, often lasting into adulthood. It is also likely that you know an abuser. The greatest risk to children doesn’t come from strangers but from friends and family. – darknesstolight.org

You can’t always know that abuse is happening until it’s too late.

BUT. You can listen when a child talks to you, especially about people who are in hir life on a regular, reoccurring basis. And if something seems wrong, you can investigate it or tell someone else to look into it.

People often use the excuse “well, if I tell the police, nothing will happen, and what if I’m wrong? I’ll look like a jerk!”
This isn’t about YOU. We’re not put on this earth to look good to everyone. It’s up to you to say something when you see something happening – not the children. They don’t have that power, and often they’re not believed.

Tell the parents. Tell the police. Tell CPS. Tell whomever it takes to make action happen. Children are often afraid to speak out – fear of being hurt or hurting someone they care about is just one of many reasons. Guilt is a big factor in suppressing reporting abuse.

You can read more insight in the informative booklet from Darkness To Light, 7 Steps To Protecting Our Children.

One of the ways that I continue to heal – because even at the age of 44, I’m still suffering – is to write about this. Don’t sweep it under the rug if you can, my friends. We need to stand tall and say ” This DOES happen, to people you know BY people you know, and I won’t stay quiet about it anymore!”

Mirrored from xiane dot org.

xiane: ([yarn goddess])

I haven’t talked about the Penn State tragedy/debacle/outrage. Not here, at least. I’ve said a bit on Facebook, and on a discussion board in a usually mostly safe space. I haven’t really had the heart to write about it here, mostly because I’m triggered all over the damn place by it.

I Put My Trust In You

Some things, I can’t speak about – not on this website, not even now. Not directly in public. Not because I don’t want to, not because I want to hide it. It’s because I am constrained otherwise – something that rankles in that constraint, because it is a betrayal piled upon the original betrayal.

That’s what I can imagine, in some similar degree, that Jerry Sandusky’s trusting charges felt and still feel. There’s a weight of betrayal, by people who you not only trusted but admired, people who were supposed to be looking after your best interests but only serving their own base ones.

Then… to pile the pain on in unending measure… when things FINALLY start to turn against these unnaturally worshiped and revered men – THEN the people who hold them up as equals to Gods refuse to let go of their own hubris and ego and truly give these hurt souls a real modicum of respect.

Oh, they give lip service to that pretend respect.
Then they lay roses at the feet of the one who had all the power in the world to make the suffering of innocent children end. They cry “but we cannot give up a FOOTBALL GAME OMG.” That’s right, letting go of one stinking football game is said to be “punishing the school, who did no wrong.”

What if, instead of yelling about YOU YOU YOU – instead, step away from one lost game and the imagined injustices that you are suffering, and consider REAL suffering. Those who were abused? They will never forget what has happened to them. They may carry guilt and shame for the rest of their lives. But of course you are the one suffering with the suggestion that you might have to give up a football game.

People have said harsh things about your campus and culture because you are projecting a giant lack of compassion.

Is this your goal, your final needs,
Where dogs and vultures eat,
Committed still I turn to go.
I put my trust in you.

Those children believed in something that they thought was greater than themselves, and they suffered from it. The one who abused them was aided and abetted by those who would not risk their power and prestige to stand up for those children. Yes, Penn State, you were betrayed, too. But please don’t compare your betrayal to watching the man who could have saved you as you were ravaged in a shower, backing out and leaving you to your fate. Don’t you EVEN dare.

I was left to hang. I know how it feels. If you knew, you would never act the way you are acting. Be glad that you don’t truly know what it means to suffer from the depravity of another. Be glad that you don’t know what it feels like to have the ones you respected and trusted leave you out to hang.

And if you do know? Then shame on you, doubly.

Lyrics: A Means To An End, JoyDivision

Mirrored from xiane dot org.

January 2016

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