"It's my confession that I watch you in my tragic isolation..."

[xiane]

Observation: I almost never see my names in those box-contained LJ FL memes, not because no one thinks of me... but because since my username starts with an X, I'm at the bottom of the list. :D

Observation: rereading old entries reveals that I have memorialized some pretty sad typos in my time. However, it also reveals that I am currently not using my writing skills to their fullest. Shame.

Observation: a lot of people who used to take interest in my life aren't around much anymore. That's sad and I miss them.

Observation: hindsight may be 20/20, but arms can reach a long way back to pick at old wounds.

Observation: I'm finding that although I dearly miss aspects of the past and can still get maudlin over their absence in my life, I made the right decisions. I'm not that girl any more - I'm that girl plus the girl that the experiences that brought me here shaped me into. That's why we keep moving forward, never back.

Observation: there are people who I don't miss at all now that they're gone from my life. Those people were caustic. There are a big handful that I really want back, though. I don't know. The observation above may prevent that from happening. Maybe I'm not who they need anymore. It's hard to say. I'd like to try, though.

Observation: I sleep a lot more than I did a couple of years ago.

Comments

[helcat.livejournal.com]

(my own) observation: i wish i'd had more of a chance to get to know you in person before you moved south. of course, you moved south by almost exactly the same amount I did at very close to the same time, so geography is oddly constant that way.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

It's like some weird form of status quo maintenance. Or like two magnets that enforce the distance between themselves, eternally. However, I can get around that with my car... at some point... heh. I REALLY want to come visit you or meet up somewhere eventually.

[seeliespright.livejournal.com]

I think the increased sleeping is because you're old, but I could be mistaken.




Hahaha, just kidding.

I think you're an awesome person and was very sad to see you go physically from my life. I am very glad you've found Rob, however, and even more glad that you've made your life with him (further South). I apologise for my part in the distance in connection. I am terrible at continuing to talk regularly with people who I don't see all the time.

But I'm still here, reading your journal and enjoying hearing about your life!

I hope you get some enjoyment out of my random posts too. :oD

<3 David

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I'd be friends with you where ever we lived, I think. You're just too awesome to not have as a friend. Also, I need to keep tabs on you for revenge for that "old" comment. ;)

Your random posts make me grin.

[seeliespright.livejournal.com]

Your icon = amazing

But you're missing "Enjoy bacon"!

[onceupon.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I needed that :)

*hugsback*

[jukebox-heroine.livejournal.com]

observation : you need to come back up for hummicide again. :D

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmm hummus. That was a great day, too.

[jukebox-heroine.livejournal.com]

yes. there must be more xiane in my life.
& hummus.
but mostly xiane.

[redzshadow.livejournal.com]

Funny thing that isolation...

I have noticed that since I have taken many steps forward in my life several people refuse to take those steps with me. There comes a time when I look back and I can't see them anymore. It is sad to lose those relationships. On the other hand it brings a great sense of relief. (On to the funny part...) Often times when I turn back around I find that some of the greatest people I know are right there with me. We are not the same people we were when we met but we are still moving forward and helping each other understand life. :)

<3 you! Miss you!

[redzshadow.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

You are wise, my dear friend.

I always look over and find you there. I am lucky indeed.

[briskpepper.livejournal.com]

An interesting observation i've been making lately regarding some similar topics (but put into words to help match the conversation):

Sometimes i lump people in the caustic category, but miss the friendship despite the person. While, the person wasn't at all caustic, rather the friendship was. Sometimes, i even do it the other way around.

Then there are the people that are complete tools. hah. a few of those floating around here, still.


Thanks for your help recently. You're delightful.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I was super glad to help. You deserve lots of happiness.

I miss things that were good, but the bad parts not so much. Definitely.


I should probably not respond to things at 4:30 am. Heh.

[briskpepper.livejournal.com]

Reading everyone's replies, i feel like i've missed the point of your post. :-/

[xiane.livejournal.com]

No, I think you just picked up on different things than they did. It was a multi-layered post with a lot of thoughts and references, and I was glad to see your input on an important part of it.

:)

[playright.livejournal.com]

Here's a smile for you...
Whenever I stir my coffee.... and I see the swirls, I think of you and "swirl a little" and am reminded that a) we can grow and become healthier and have good people in our lives b) you can pursue your loves and find fulfilment and c) good people are just good people, whether in our hearts, minds, memories, or backyards. I need to make that in person part of you happen. :)
We need to have tea and talk.

[short-line2.livejournal.com]

I miss your gardening posts from last summer. It would remind me to take pictures of our garden.

Still reading your posts, but so busy that I think at lunch I will comment but never get to it.

[6-and-66.livejournal.com]

I'm here.. takig interest.... and sleeping a lot as well ;)