(no subject)
20 September 2002 01:52![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xianeObsessive. That's me. I get interested in an activity, a band, a person.. and I have to surround myself with that thing, almost drown in it for it to sink in and lull me... I love that first flush of discovering something that is worthy of drowning in, the first flush of love one might say... every waking moment revolving around seeing, hearing, somehow being immersed in that thing. I can do it with a book or a dream; I've been in love with characters in the stories I'm writing, even. Mailing lists have received my undivided attention; trees were loved this way, and some of my best friends, and the graveyard across tings the street from my first apartment here in Cville.
I think part of my need to obsess comes from this terribly untamed romantic side - not gushy slobbery romanticism, but a need to treasure things that invoke a certain feeling in me. Usually it is an almost nostalgic feeling, and sometimes it is a protective sort of desire. This is really hard to describe... but I can often feel it so intensely that it makes me shiver with the energy, almost. Arg. I wish I could hard-wire people directly into my brain.
I think part of my need to obsess comes from this terribly untamed romantic side - not gushy slobbery romanticism, but a need to treasure things that invoke a certain feeling in me. Usually it is an almost nostalgic feeling, and sometimes it is a protective sort of desire. This is really hard to describe... but I can often feel it so intensely that it makes me shiver with the energy, almost. Arg. I wish I could hard-wire people directly into my brain.
