not much in the way of updates

[xiane]

Lots of quiet musing and rearranging of my life.

Got some hangin' time with xymoxed today, that was super-cool. We went to Richmond and poked around, stopped at essential places like Sally Beauty and Exile. Oh, and Circuit City, so that I could purchase a wireless keyboard for the computer that I got from soulcry recently.

I named the computer SquidgeHame.

Yes, I know. I'd be less obsessed if nothingoth didn't encourage me with things like the gift of a mousepad emblazoned with a photo of mrsquidge.

Also spent a decent chunk of time at Miller's today, talking to orientalilliy and brokenme85 until one of the wait staff was rude to me and some of the other people there. It's like how it used to be at Miller's with the "mallrats" all over again, except we were all overage. And people wonder why I refuse to go there, most of the time. I deplore rudeness, and that smacked of it.

Oh well. Oh! AND - i got an invite from Origins for a free facial/spa thng... I can invite three other ladies. One slot's taken... anyone else interested? I dunno the date, yet. Let me know!

Anyone know of promising jobs that don't suck coming available in Cville? Soonish?
O_o

Comments

[krues8dr.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say something on the Miller's thing...

Now, I'm definitely not one to defend the service there - it's always been universally terrible. The issue was over the fact that lots of people started showing up and blocking the area immediately in front of the door, and none of the additional people were buying *anything*. Not that these people were necessarily part of your invited party, but they were there, nonetheless. (They explained this to me, as I was part of this problem.) Really, Miller's is not the appropriate place for underage vagabonds to be hanging out. And I can't say anything about the rudeness of the employees over the issue, there's certainly a good and bad way to handle any situation, true enough. But, as we all have learned, kids are bad for the business of a bar. (And even moreso, an individual employee whose only section is only the front patio; when it's filled with soda-drinkers for a few hours, they lose a *lot* of money.) Particularly when these kids are too young or inexperienced to understand that they need to be respectful patrons if they're going to spend their time in or near an establishment. Sadly, it seems that many of the young mallgothlings have not had this value instilled in them. I propose as a better solution to invite some of them young-uns to Miller's for dinner, and have them sit on the far patio, to get them used to being around the place in the appropriate context, and what's expected of them. At the same time, it will make the staff more accepting of their presence, as they begin to view them as potential patrons, and not just loiterers. We (well, You) are adults, and the kids look up to the adults for guidance on their behavior. If bad behaviors are actively frowned upon, they're less likely to continue.

Anyway. Just a few thoughts on the topic, having been on both sides of things. I certainly didn't see anything wrong with what you were doing in particular, and the direct rudeness of the staff was inappropriate. However, the factors that caused them to be rude are worth considering.

A very astute observation.

[daq42.livejournal.com]

Amazing. This is exactly the same thing I thought when I read about this kind of incident.
Certainly the rudeness of the staff was improper, however, I was informed a a particular incident involving the mallrats just the previous Friday where their rudeness to a waitress was extremely disrespectful and caused a kitchen employee who is familiar with the mallrats to have to drive them off for such dishonorable behavior.

Either way, I like Tuesday's a Miller's. Cheap drinks = cheap drunk.
Yay!

Re: A very astute observation.

[krues8dr.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the consideration.


Also, Tuesday is $2/draft nite at Rapture, which is always good. $2 for a Guiness? Sweet.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Bill, you know as well as I do that I'm aware of the MALLRAT situation there.

I am obviously not a mallrat. And guess what? I was with a table of people who had consistently been buying items more expensive than a soda. Including several people who had left by that point, who had bought beer.

The underagers had been sitting at ANOTHER table when I showed up, not connected to the table I'd been at. They were shooed off. Meredith then came over to the table I was at. *She'd* been having problems with the kids hanging out around her, but *she* had been buying stuff herself.

I'm saying that the waitstaff is WELL FUCKING AWARE who is buying and who is not, and does not show discretion. That's the problem there. I don't disagree with you about people pooling and blocking traffic or kids hanging out who don't spend money. I'm speaking about the people who were there who HAD or MIGHT that they were rude to.

Lemme just clarify so that it's really obvious why I'm pissed: the kids were never with me. The one who did sit down with Meredith and I immediately ordered food. We'd done nothing wrong. I don't care how frustrated she might be about those kids, we were treated incorrectly, and that's a BIG problem at Miller's and always has been. You've been out with me. You know that I am always poilte and a HUGE tipper. I don't deserve to be treated like a second-class citizen at any establishment I've given money to. And THAT'S WHY I'M PISSED.

[krues8dr.livejournal.com]

I totally understand what you're saying here, and I don't see anything wrong with what you did, or your leaving, or any other personal thing. It's obvious that the waitress behaved inappropriately, so the real issue is Why did she do it? What I am suggesting is that there is a very real problem, and as persons of influence, we can work towards alleviating the problem through dedicated tolerance and effort. The mallrat problem has far-reaching repercussions, and reflects badly on everyone.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Doesn't matter WHY she did it, Bill. Rudeness from an employee to a patron isn't appropriate. There are always better ways to handle it, and in this case, she was assuming something that could cost her establishment business. If I were her boss, she would have been fired on the spot. This has been a big problem with Miller's for a long time, and it is inexcusable at any time. She made a blanket judgement.

As for the kids, Meredith shooed them away, telling them that they needed to purchase or leave. That's why the table over there cleared. There's always been a "problem" with mallrats, since, well... us. Indeed we should give them a good example, but I can tell you that it won't be at Miller's. As I've said before, if the kids had anywhere to hang out, this wouldn't be an issue. Doesn't detract from the fact that I had nothing to do with the kid-caused problems that the server was suffering... but I bet she didn't take it out on her other unrelated customers on the patio.

[krues8dr.livejournal.com]

As I've said before, if the kids had anywhere to hang out, this wouldn't be an issue.
The kids could hang out anywhere they want, if they knew how to behave. Giving them places to hang out that put up with their poor attitudes and lack of self control only acts to enable their destructive habits.

I agree with everything you've set forth here in principle, but I can't look at any of the items in isolation. People can't act negatively, they can only respond negatively. I think that we have a huge social duty that extends past individuals. I'm not saying the waitress' behavior was in any way justified, I'm saying that it's secondary to a larger issue. Firing her wouldn't change anything; there are plenty of other employees who will eventually act the same way. We can't directly change one person's behavior, but we can change the circumstances that affect that behavior. Which is why I think a boycott of Miller's doesn't help the situation any, it's just one of those "I'll take my ball and go home" things.

Of course, I'm not suggesting that you eat at Miller's if you don't like how they treat customers, either. If the service sucks, then the place shouldn't be popular. Again, that's really a secondary concern to my arguement - we should positively affect change where we can. I would be proud to have your company at any establishment of your choosing.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

People can't act negatively, they can only respond negatively. Not to be rude, but how do you figure that? Sounds good as a rallying cry, I suppose, but I see people act in a negative manner on their own every day.

I'm not saying the waitress' behavior was in any way justified, I'm saying that it's secondary to a larger issue. Firing her wouldn't change anything; there are plenty of other employees who will eventually act the same way. We can't directly change one person's behavior, but we can change the circumstances that affect that behavior.

I'm not disagreeing with your assessment that we can encourage better behaviour from the kids. BUT. She IS responsible for how she handles herself. Not the kids. Doesn't matter how they acted. She was wrong. Don't let her off the hook because of that.

You've spied a cause here, and that's great. I admire that you want to get to what you see as the root of the problem and fix it. But don't jumble the cause with the issue of *being responsible for one's reactions* - doesn't matter how pissed she was at those kids, how they acted. She took it out on someone else. That's wrong. She needs to hold herself accountable for her own actions. That's the whole problem here. No one wants to be held accountable. I can point fingers at the parents of these kids, or the kids themselves... but at the end of the day, no matter how annoying or rude those kids were to her, she is responsible for how she handles herself. You're excusing her. That's doing her a disservice, too. That sends the signal that it's OKAY to treat people rudely.

I don't disagree with you on the issue of mall kids and their manners. But that's an entirely different issue, and it deserves its own discussion.

[radiantdaffodil.livejournal.com]

I'd like to do the spa thing :)

I hope you're doing well...*giant hug*

[xiane.livejournal.com]

*GIANT hug back!*

You're in! I'm going to shoot for an evening appointment. It will have to be duringthe week, though. I'll let you know when it is. This is going to be fun!

[eure-maum.livejournal.com]

you come to richmond and not see me. *gasp* just joking. =)

[xiane.livejournal.com]

I would have, if we'd had time! I swear!
O_o

[hecatemacbeth.livejournal.com]

Hey babes...

What red did you use in your icon? I have been looking for a bright stop sign red..:)

[xiane.livejournal.com]

That red is Nuclear Red with a touch of Blood Red, atthe ends. I should post some pics of what happened when I added Cherry Bom on top - the colour's even more intense, though veering towards pink-red now. All of this is Special Effects, of course. Nuclear IS your stop-sign red, though. Oooh! You'll look hot with that.

[hecatemacbeth.livejournal.com]

I did have a cupcake pink by special effects...but I have no earthly clue what I did with it! :)

[glitterdream.livejournal.com]

i'm interested in the spa thing. i need friends to hang out with anyway, lol. i'm so sad.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Sad? You need cheering, then. Let me find out when we can make this happen, and you're in! *hugs*

[simplistik.livejournal.com]

You were in Richmond? Damn.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Only for an hour. Otherwise, I would have been all into hanging out. We were in the mad rush of "eeek, everything is closing!" What's with all the places we wanted to go closing at 7? Weird.

[ez-mo.livejournal.com]

i'd be interested in the spa thing; would give me a nice break from the monkies...