(no subject)

Okay, I don't know why I'm going further and further down, but there it is. Every night I notice that I'm getting that heavy feeling in my chest, that urge to curl up in a ball and hide away. I'm not giving in, but I really wish it would go away. I'm tired of it. People wonder why I try so hard... there you go. I won't go down easy. I refuse to let some chemical imbalance [enhanced by simple mental confusion on my part] rule over me and my life. Fuck drugs, fuck collapsing and being depressed... fuck losing to this. I'm here. Get over it, brain. I refuse to give up one single moment of my life to depression.