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[xiane]=[broken]
21 January 2002 20:39I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me. I feel crappy - the way I used to get. Dizzy for no reason. Sleepless, or restless beyond belief when sleeping. Nauseated. Depressed. Weak. Terribly forgetful, with no concentration to speak of, and with general malaise [a word I wouldn't usually use, but damn if it doesn't fit here!] - overall, crappy. No reason to feel like this. I have had this happen before, usually spaced out a few years between attacks, if that's what you can call it. It creeps me out, and honestly, it scares me. I've been to the doctor in the past, and here's what they say: Take iron. Eat better. Try to relax. We don't know really what the problem is.
Woo.
I've been overall eating pretty well, since I work at the Soup, which has excellent food that I can eat continuously if desired. I certainly don't look undernourished, although I feel like I'm not as healthy as I could be. I started taking supplements again, just to be safe. More than anything, the nausea and dizziness really freak me out. I don't like feeling like that at all. Oh, I've also been having incredibly annoying and painful headaches intermittently, but I've got that pretty much nailed down to sinuses. Maybe my allergies have something to do with all of this? God, I sound like a whiner or a hypochondriac. Just for the record: I usually don't complain unless there's something REALLY wrong. I am pretty stoic about feeling poorly, and generally go about business as usual when I feel sick. My posting this here is a testimony to how crud I really feel. I'm really worried about it.
Another thing I've noticed is how unreasonably depressed I've been; I'm pretty sure that is related somehow to this whole weird illness thing. This isn't my normal depression style - this is totally unreasonable, almost psychotic ideas that pop into my head and make me feel so low that I want to go hide somewhere and not come out. I don't know if I can describe this clearly here... no matter what I write, it just won't convey the urgency of the incoherent feelings or nonsensical ideas that I've been experiencing. I can batter them down, but having to deal with them is really wearing me out. Fuck brain chemicals that make me loopy. I'm considering buying Melatonin to try out and see if that helps. I suspect that not sleeping well might have a LOT to do with all of this, now that I think about it. Wow. I'm thinking about this in detail and I'm realizing this is a lot like how I feel when I'm sleep-depped.
That almost seems reasonable.
Anyone tried melatonin and had good results? Anyone think I'm not totally wigging out? Hello? Heh.
On a completely superficial note, I made some new icons. Yay me. I'm silly. Whatever.
Woo.
I've been overall eating pretty well, since I work at the Soup, which has excellent food that I can eat continuously if desired. I certainly don't look undernourished, although I feel like I'm not as healthy as I could be. I started taking supplements again, just to be safe. More than anything, the nausea and dizziness really freak me out. I don't like feeling like that at all. Oh, I've also been having incredibly annoying and painful headaches intermittently, but I've got that pretty much nailed down to sinuses. Maybe my allergies have something to do with all of this? God, I sound like a whiner or a hypochondriac. Just for the record: I usually don't complain unless there's something REALLY wrong. I am pretty stoic about feeling poorly, and generally go about business as usual when I feel sick. My posting this here is a testimony to how crud I really feel. I'm really worried about it.
Another thing I've noticed is how unreasonably depressed I've been; I'm pretty sure that is related somehow to this whole weird illness thing. This isn't my normal depression style - this is totally unreasonable, almost psychotic ideas that pop into my head and make me feel so low that I want to go hide somewhere and not come out. I don't know if I can describe this clearly here... no matter what I write, it just won't convey the urgency of the incoherent feelings or nonsensical ideas that I've been experiencing. I can batter them down, but having to deal with them is really wearing me out. Fuck brain chemicals that make me loopy. I'm considering buying Melatonin to try out and see if that helps. I suspect that not sleeping well might have a LOT to do with all of this, now that I think about it. Wow. I'm thinking about this in detail and I'm realizing this is a lot like how I feel when I'm sleep-depped.
That almost seems reasonable.
Anyone tried melatonin and had good results? Anyone think I'm not totally wigging out? Hello? Heh.
On a completely superficial note, I made some new icons. Yay me. I'm silly. Whatever.
