for inspiration.

[xiane]

"Most successful people have a high positive affect most of the time; not that they don't get cross, angry, and even down, but their predominant affect is positive."

- from The Biology Of Success, Robert Arnot, M.D.

Just something from a book I'm reading that struck me as useful to keep in mind. Affect in this case refers to mood and how mood governs those around you.

Comments

[ego-likeness.livejournal.com]

It sounds cheesy, but you have to believe in what you are doing, and you have to believe 100% that it will work. That takes a great deal of optimism.

Not to dive back into the whole meds/therapy vs. self-help discussion, but merely as a side note...I had a very difficult time prior to taking medication believing that I could accomplish or handle or even complete anything. Therefore, I did very little with my life and my ideas. After the medication helped even me out and keep me 'up' a bit more often than I could manage on my own, I became a productive person with much more confidence. Honestly, I don't think I could've done Water to the Dead without it. (I really didn't intend for that to read as a paid advertisement...really.) :)

Again, that's just my experience...I don't want to seem as though I'm nudging you one way or the other. Just thought it was relevant to your post and current situation.

re-verse.

[grendelskeeper.livejournal.com]

And remember , my love, "mood" spelled backwards is ~ Doom.

I so enjoy conversing with you ~ no matter the format!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

*nods* It's funny. You've seen me at work with the promoting, you know I believe in everything I do... but I don't believe in my own worth when it comes to interpersonal, private relationships. I see the flaws in me, and they are glaring. But what's worse - I can live with my flaws, I know we all have them. It's just that when I feel down like this, it's not worth it to move, to be energized... no, that's not right. It is. I just can't seem to muster up the care to do it. And I know I'm a worthy person. But I feel cracked and broken inside when I'm like this.

Yeah.

Everyone's basically told me to check into meds. I think they're right. I don't have insurance, so I've been looking into the free/reduced rate mental healthcare [gah, that sounds like I'm crazy and I know I'm not] - I'm hesitant to talk to my Mom about all this, because I know she'll get weird. I know I have to... but yeah, too much has happened over the past couple of months. But it has to happen.

I really appreciate your input. It means an awful lot to me.

Re: re-verse.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

"WELCOME TO YOUR DOOOOM!"

by the by - did you look at Chad's pics from the party? The ones of you were awesome! Made me almost feel like I was there to see them.

I miss talkin' to you every week on the phone. At least we'll always have LJ :D

[ego-likeness.livejournal.com]

You know I love you!

I won't say I know how you feel, especially after all you've gone through this year, but I do understand the weirdness and stigma attached to the whole meds issue. But you get past that so quickly once you find something that works. It's funny how simple it all seems later on...if something in you is broken, you fix it. That's all you really need to remember.

love, love, love.

[xiane.livejournal.com]

Every single person who has commented that they felt the same way as me about the meds has also said that they recommend me trying them, and that they found them to be totally different than they thought they'd be, and really helpful. So I suppose I need to listen and not just write this off until I've tried it. [I'm a hardhead, don'cha know.]

I haven't talked about this with most of my friends *ever* and now I've opened up and gotten so much support... it's amazing.

Re: re-verse.

[grendelskeeper.livejournal.com]

At least we'll always have LJ :D


Yes ~ and ALWAYS ~ and never to be forgotten!!!!

[klink.livejournal.com]

i apologize for never replying to that nice email that you sent me awhile ago. i do hope you're doing well, and may we friend? i would still like too :} even though i'm so late!

[xiane.livejournal.com]

ohmygoodness, yes! Don't feel bad about lateness; as some of my friends on here can testify, I've been horribly bad about keeping up with lots of things lately. I'm just glad to hear from you!

Consider yourself friended :)

[klink.livejournal.com]

wonderful then!! you as well! hope you're surviving in the wonderful eastcoast winters, i miss them SOOO!

[ex-xn667.livejournal.com]

I don't know about success, but high positive affect certainly seems to have a direct effect on peace of mind, from my unscientific point of view. There's a phenomenon spoken of in the stuff I read/do called "lust for result" which has lots of implications outside the field itself, and is addressed in Buddhism generally as attachments. Basically, I find that if I'm living moment by moment, and doing what I'm doing cheerfully (even if I'm pretending) and solely for the sake of the doing of it rather than for the anticipated results, not only do I enjoy the task at hand more, but frequently I do it better and more easily, which in turn adds to feelings of confidence and satisfaction which makes the whole pretending and suspension of belief/disbelief thing easier. It all feeds in on itself.

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote up an anecdote in one of his books about hating to wash dishes, so he turned washing dishes into a meditative practice, as it were. By just being in that moment, focusing on the tactile sensations, etc., even his least liked chore became a way to feel at peace.

Might be a bit tangential, but I find it useful to consider when trying to figure out the "trick" to positive affect when the last thing I immediately feel is positive, heh.

Re: love, love, love.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

I've said this before, but open discussion like this really helps... me. I've had the stigma quite BADLY, to the point I've feared getting any help when I may need it. There are so many "Oh, I'm having a bad day, better munch some drugs! Yay for crutches!" stories... it helps, a lot, to read "You know, I was scared of drugs/therapy, too. But it's okay to ask for help."

So, um. Thank you both. For being open.