(no subject)

Arg. I'm TIRED! A long day that followed a long night [see previous entry]... a great show, a tense night of sleeping [just couldn't relax], a day filled with soup. Now I'm dying my hair, trying to recover, and chatting with friends online. I know, a life of glamour. My goal for the night was to come home, do laundry and then dedicate the rest of the night to pampering me... well, I got a little bit of that done. I want to really have a day of re-assembling Xiane; sorta like a Xiane Spa. Sounds girlie, I know, I know... but damn! That's what's called for! Dying my hair is only the first step.
Another part of this process involves me going through my wardrobe and throwing out things I'm tired of, and rehauling my general appearance. It isn't earth-shaking, but I think it might help a bit of the way I've been feeling lately. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not attractive, and getting old. I'm not that old. I'm not.


Here's another worry of mine... I spend so much time working and then catching up on the rest of the mundane parts of my life, I'm afraid that I'm becoming a bore to be around. I can't seem to summon the idle chatting skills that I used to have - I feel that all my conversations are dull as dirt, so why should anyone want to talk to me? And that just feeds the other concerns, of course. Oh keerist. I'm all fucked up these days. At least I know it.

But... overall, this day was pretty decent. Look for the secret messages for all the other things I'm thinking, I guess.