(no subject)
25 October 2001 00:21![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xianeIt is really frustrating to spend my time trying to make things happen here in this small town [that by all rights should be a total shithole of nothing-to-do], only to have the people who call themselves "friends" go around talking shit about the events I'm involved in. I mean, I expected to get talked about, put down and undercut in my efforts... but not from the people who I trusted to know me better. Not by the people who are supposed to know me so well. Not the ones I took time to defend when others did the same to them. Of course, these are the same people that bitch about how there's nothing to do, and the scene is full of backstabbers and elitists. Hmmm.
I did - I think - get things worked out with the one who really hurt me with this idle talk that so effectively cut me to the quick by belittling my efforts... but that I had to do it at all was really frustrating. Anyone who knows me, knows that in general, I'm a pretty positive person, almost to the point of being naive. I might as well have been a weeble - I always bounce back up when I'm knocked down, and I always try to make a bad situation better. I've been working really hard to change things here, to make events fun and get bands that are new and interesting to play... but no one really seems to care. I try to generate enthusiasm, and get talked about behind my back. I try to make things aesthetically pleasing, and people rip things down and don't bother to clean up after themselves. But I'l continue to do it, because if I don't, who will? And if no one else does... then there's nothing at all to do in this town, not at all. I just wish some people would realize that it is a lot easier to complain from the outside than it is to manage on the inside. It isn't a prestige or elite thing at all - it is just a lot of hard, generally thankless work. At least I get the satisfaction of feeling like I accomplished something when the night goes right, eh?
And thanks to those who have been helpful or compassionate to me lately. You are SO appreciated!
I did - I think - get things worked out with the one who really hurt me with this idle talk that so effectively cut me to the quick by belittling my efforts... but that I had to do it at all was really frustrating. Anyone who knows me, knows that in general, I'm a pretty positive person, almost to the point of being naive. I might as well have been a weeble - I always bounce back up when I'm knocked down, and I always try to make a bad situation better. I've been working really hard to change things here, to make events fun and get bands that are new and interesting to play... but no one really seems to care. I try to generate enthusiasm, and get talked about behind my back. I try to make things aesthetically pleasing, and people rip things down and don't bother to clean up after themselves. But I'l continue to do it, because if I don't, who will? And if no one else does... then there's nothing at all to do in this town, not at all. I just wish some people would realize that it is a lot easier to complain from the outside than it is to manage on the inside. It isn't a prestige or elite thing at all - it is just a lot of hard, generally thankless work. At least I get the satisfaction of feeling like I accomplished something when the night goes right, eh?
And thanks to those who have been helpful or compassionate to me lately. You are SO appreciated!
