xiane: ([yarn goddess])


Funny enough, despite the clinical depression, which waxes and wanes but never completely goes away, I’m happy.
Despite the spectres of my past, and the uncertainty of the future, I’m happy.
Despite getting angry with the government, and our Apathy Culture here in the US, and despite having to fight against the mistaken idea that there is a meritocracy by people who more often than not are struggling and won’t see that there’s something wrong with the idea of working one’s ass off to barely get by… I’m happy.

Weary, oh so drearily, we wave our flags into the camera.
It’s Amber goes the hotline, we’re all friends but no one ever answers

Sad, but true—the truth can turn your smile to a frown.
So what’s the use, dear Jenny? Anyway, the world is pretty
Dresden Dolls, Dear Jenny

Just because I’m happy, that doesn’t mean that I should stop advocating for those who are still in abusive situations.
Just because I’m happy, that doesn’t mean that I should stop promoting justice and equality.
Just because I’m happy, that doesn’t mean that I should settle for status quo.
Just because I’m happy, that doesn’t mean that I should stop talking about what I’ve been through.

Why? Because that’s the point. I want you to know that you can get here, too. I want you to know that, no matter what’s happened to you, you’re not alone. I want you to feel that you CAN speak about what you have experienced, what you are working through, what you feel – without getting shut down by people who all too often are afraid to look at their own souls.

I’m not dwelling. I’m not wallowing. I’m taking action. I’m inviting you to take action.

People heal on their own terms. People fight for change on their own terms.
Don’t let anyone push you into thinking that your way is less than their own.

Mirrored from xiane dot org.

xiane: (Default)
Thank you to everyone who left me the loveliest messages for Yule, my Birthday, and the New Year. I hope everyone had a wonderful set of holidays, are safe and happy, and thrilled to kick 2006 to the curb.

It is always interesting to see who notices when you've been missing, or when you have changes brewing. And speaking of changes, expect some here in my journal soon. Some things need to be cleared away at this new threshold; turning 40 seems as reasonable a time as any to reclaim certain parts of my life and pack others away for the most part.

Even my stupid horoscope agrees.
Tough emotional times can definitely be draining, but cheer up,because this has only made you stronger. Loved ones lend their support to you wholeheartedly. Now you know that you can handle just about anything.

Evidently the nice round age of 40 seems to bring on reassessment, constructive upheaval, and determination. Don't fear it, folks. However, don't stop using sunblock, it'll make you feel better when you look at yourself in the mirror.

Marrying Rob has been the absolute best thing I've done with my life to this point. He's supportive, loving, fun and just absolutely wonderful.
Our first Xmoose together in our apartment has been filled with him pampering me, showering me with too many gifts, and eating delicious foods while laughing over whatever we're currently discussing. Thank you, love.

40 brought me a home-baked chocolate cake from Rob, a dozen purple roses and six chocolate covered strawberries from my Mom, a black cashmere cable-knit wrap from my Aunt, and more Xmoose and Birthday presents than I deserve. I also had the excellent present of a three-day visit from [livejournal.com profile] redzshadow, with so much talking and fun. And of course, snorgles and mouses from [livejournal.com profile] squeegee_cat, and many lovely cards from my friends. Thank you, all.

I hope that everyone is having the New Year they have hoped for. Change is the theme for my year; I'll strive to improve myself [the endless task of life], increase and improve my business with Threeravens.net, and bring more joy to life. I want to vend at more festivals this year, add more products to my line, attend the SE Women's Herbal Conference in September. Love more. Worry less. Dance.
xiane: ([never thirst])
* Johnny-jump-ups on the deck, filling up their containers as they grow and grow...
* Nodding sunflowers in a funky vase, towering over head...
* Opening the pantry and being overwhelmed by the scent of cardamom, so strong!
* post-swimming euphoria...
* cat's nose in my nose as a way to wake up O_o
* my husband loves me. ♥
* random smiles from passers-by...
* a fridge filled with healthy and yummy foods...

I'll add more as I gather 'em. What's your smile-inducing things from today?
xiane: ([too cute])
...this week has been just a wee bit crazy.

I suppose I should start at the beginning...
The shed takes a tumble; or Our Heroine Braves the Wind and I-95 to get to her betrothed: )

January 2016

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